Posted in Speaking from experience

Testing my mettle

Not actually allowed to start running again yet …

I’m 4 weeks in, and this Wednesday morning was a noteworthy challenge. LG’s bad episode this morning knocked me for six, because I thought we had some kind of routine going, and I thought I knew my baby fairly well and I thought I could rely on his established patterns. Wrong, wrong, wrong! You drop your guards, and shit gets real.

Our usually super sleeper decided that instead of going back to sleep at 3.30am for about 3 hours, he was going to wake again for feeding at 4.30am … then stay away until 9.30am. It was a hideous 5 hour cycle of feeding, grumbling/wailing through digestive problems, not sleeping, feeding … and so on and so forth. I tried everything from my previous blog to ease his discomfort but to no avail. I was exhausted, he was exhausted.

On top of that, I had plans to meet another mama (from my birth preparation course) at 12pm. 11am rolled around – LG was waking up from a 40 minute nap, and I had managed to put on half my make up and pants. Not in that order. As I picked up a wailing LG, I suddenly realised that I was going to have to cancel last minute. “I should just throw in the towel for today, screw the routine, you and me are going to sit this one out at home,” I thought. Motherhood changes you, I know, but as I reflected on my thoughts I realised that I had never been a defeatist before and it was one change I was going to embrace lightly. I am stubborn and resilient, and that’s what I want my son to see in me.

I raced at top speed (in between cries) around the bedroom and apartment, I gave myself a wet-wipe wash (my 3rd this week) and drenched myself in Chanel to give the allure of being clean and put together. A quick location change, and I was out the door at 11.30am. Walked 20 mins to the bus stop – fantastic! I just missed one! I knew for a fact I was going to be 10mins+ late … and my phone didn’t have any battery, credit or data to get in contact with my friend. I decided to walk the bus route for a few stops to ensure LG stayed asleep. Exhausted, slightly sweaty and annoyed about not being pünktlich, I waited in the bus stop. I eventually arrived at 12.30pm, instead of the rearranged 12.15pm, but you know what?

I had a really nice time, and I enjoyed that coffee more than any other coffee I’ve drunk this past week. Yes, I was constantly checking on LG and rocking the bassinet to calm his crankiness, but it didn’t matter because I hadn’t been defeated by my own baby (who seems to have inherited the stubborn streak), I maintained The Routine, and little LG got a nap in. Winning all round.

Shame he woke up on the bus home and had fits of howling because he was hungry. Damnit.

Mama M x


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